At 4.00 in the morning….
A lot going on inside. There is…
“A silence so turbulent… A turbulence so silent….”
I feel, I sense and I discern that there is a certain amount
of calm and peace that I have attained my life owing to all the highs and lows
I have been through. I have risen through. A certain amount of ‘bliss’ that I experience quite often…
during my days, my waking hours… when I’m at work or when I’m around my family,
friends, colleagues, when I’m not talking but listening, when I’m just thinking
silently, contemplating, reflecting and mostly when I’m in contact with my real
self in the innermost part of my physical self… my
soul… and my source…
But what happens when the night falls…?! When it’s dark
outside and there’s pin drop silence everywhere… The only sound that falls on
the ears is that of the clock ticking… ticking away seconds, minutes, hours…
and thereby days, months and years…
The sense of calm that rests in my heart and soul throughout
the days slowly turns into a quiet turmoil at nights.
What exactly is it…???
Is it my loneliness that grows grave and stifling in the
dark hours of the night? Is it the sense of failure of not doing and giving
enough that gives me those inexplicable pangs in the heart? Is it some sort of
fear related to the future lurking in the depths of my mind? Or some hurt I
suffered in the past and still carry inside…???
May be one of these things or a complex mixture of all.
In my heart of hearts I feel that I know the root cause but
then comes the bigger question. What’s
the solution???
I remember having read somewhere that no problem comes
without its solution. In other words, all problems come with their respective
solutions, provided that we recognize them …
I, being a contemplative person by nature, started chewing
on it… and then came to realize something that I later on put into a quote…
“All problems come
with their solutions, the solutions however don’t always come to your liking”
Somewhere deep down I know the root cause of my problems, and
the very recognition of the basic cause of all my problems gives me a clear
understanding of their possible and most certain solutions.
Upon reflecting on it further, It dawned on me that what I
lack is not the vision of the solutions but the “Will” to act on them.
As the age old saying goes… “Where there’s a will, there’s a
way”
It’s not the ‘way’
that I can’t perceive, it is actually the ‘will’
I fail to summon within me, to adopt the solutions, to let go of all my
inhibitions, illusions, delusions, false hopes and fears. The will to accept
and to walk on the path showing up right before my eyes…
The very solution to one serious problem gets snowballed
into a hundred other grave problems when not accepted and adopted in time.
So I realize….It is the “Will”
That is my problem. That is my solution.
No comments:
Post a Comment